Dating a Dominican Woman
You are either looking or thinking of looking for that special lady. You have decided to see what the Dominican Republic might offer. In this series of articles we will post different articles that you might find useful in searching for that lady and making a successful relationship. As with anything or anyone, a person does not want to generalize and think that it applies to all the people. Here are some observations that we have noticed over the past 12 years when dealing with Dominican wives of family and friends.
What are we talking about when it comes to lifestyles? For this article we are not talking about the type of house you live in or the type of car you drive. We are talking about, your social time. What type of person are you? Is she going to be the same or so different that it causes problems. Even though music and dancing plays a large part in the Latina culture, there are still many ladies that would rather be at the house than on the streets. Go to the movies a couple times but not out dancing every weekend. Keep this in mind as I have seen guys that are very social and want the interaction of others while their Latina wife was more stay at home and read. Is it necessary to have someone exactly like you? Of course not and that difference is many times more the exciting part of the relationship. Long distant relationships are often hard because when you are visiting, you are in vacation mode. When they arrive to live in the house, you are in work mode and the 2 are extremely different at times. And maybe this is one of the factors that add to the lifestyle problem, on vacation the 2 get along great!
Kids or No kids
We have seen guys that are in their mid 50s to mid 60s looking for a Dominican lady to marry. They will choose a lady that is 20 or 21 years old with no kids. Many of these relations fail. Is the age difference the problem? Hard to say and that might be a part of it. Do you have anything in common to talk about? But let¡¦s look at the kid¡¦s angle. Many of the ladies here are raised with the ¡¥training¡¦ that her role in life is to get married and have kids. So when a guy comes along that has kids that are grown and out of the house and with kids of their own, he might feel that he has done his family duty. However, asking a Latina lady without any children to marry and not have any of her own, is a bit selfish on his part. At first she might be happy, but many times as the relationships progresses, she starts feeling the need to have her family. She wants to have the same opportunity to raise her family just as the guy did. This causes strain on the relationship. If a guy does not want any more kids running around the house, then think about a lady that might be a bit more mature with her own kids that are either getting ready to leave or have left the house. We understand the desire for a young sexy wife, but we also want to be realistic in helping you find that special lady. Now we have known some guys in their 50s and 60s hooking up with a lady in their 20s. The relation is working, but they have new members in their family º so grandpa is now a new father! In these cases the age difference is there but the relations are working. As in any relationship from any country, there are many dynamics from both people that must mesh to make it work.
So your Spanish is not up to a level that you think it will take to meet the lady of your dreams. It might surprise you to learn that many guys have met that lady with little to no Spanish skills. First of all, the language barrier is going to be the least of your problems when dating a Dominican if you are not familiar with the local culture and customs.
Once a guy finds either a lady or a couple ladies that they would like to meet, some use a translator for that first meeting. What we have found is this gets the guy through the initial meeting. From this first meeting one gets a sense whether to see if there is more or maybe time to call the next lady on the list. Although there have been a couple that have ¡¥felt¡¦ that special connection at the first meeting, it is normally after the first or second date without the translator that a couple starts connecting. This first meeting is important to make sure that the two are looking for the same thing. The translator can help in explaining things that translate but might not have the same meaning as the other language. One example, in the US most think that a Catholic is a Christian because they believe in Christ. In the DR that is not the case, even though the word Christian translates over, the meaning is different. A good translator will also help explaining the cultural differences.
So the first date with the lady, no translators, what to do? Think of it this way, on that date when there is no translator then a person can tell if she has the patience to communicate with him or whether he has the patience to communicate with her. Have seen many times when the lady has arrived with a friend to ¡¥help¡¦ and it has turned into a disaster for one reason or the other. Some of them are pretty funny and stories for a different post. Now we have seen guys going out on these dates shaking their heads because they just know that they will not be able to communicate. They head off to the restaurant with a dictionary in hand. One guy after his first such date came back saying that it went okay but still did not understand. He went on a first date with a second lady and after that meeting came back pretty happy and said now I understand! This lady made an effort to make sure I understood her. We did not pass the dictionary back and forth, she pulled her chair around and we shared the dictionary. Another guy was going to the restaurant and then to a movie with the lady. He had NO Spanish skills, she had NO English skills. They arrived at the restaurant at 7:30. At 8:45 she asked him did he really want to go to the movies where they would not be able to talk? They stayed at the restaurant until 1:30. He reported that they had a great time and was laughing most of the night. He said that he did not know her words, but he understood what she was saying. Same for her. On the few things that they got stuck on, the waiter helped them out.
Is the language going to be a challenge? Yes. But many have started with little skills and within a short time were able to understand the general concept of the telephone call, maybe not all the words, but enough to get by and make for some funny stories later on. Will there be times to use a translator later in relationship, yes. Some have used them when going to meet mom. Want to make no mistakes when trying to impress the possible future in law. Also others have used them at the end of their time so that they can discuss the relationship, make sure the two are on the same page and what that next step will be. Many times this is a great idea to help avoid confusions of what each party is to expect from the other.